March 15, 2022 

I’m literally looking for a horse right now

Have you ever heard a neigh I have I just heard a neigh. Literally like a horse’s neigh. Like a pony horse. Like a gorgeous fancy horse with a long beautiful golden mane. I heard it neighing and I wish I could see it. I think a lot of good things would happen for me if I could see a horse right now. 

But I’m in Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California. I’m right by The Whaler, the beach-side bar where people go to get day-trashed and vomit in the bathroom where there’s a bathroom attendant to clean it up. I never have cash to tip her and i feel horrible about it. I’m by Washington Boulevard where an Uber sometimes picks me up to drive me an hour to the east side because I don’t drive but everything’s on the east side. I never have enough conversation for these drives. Do you think there’s really a horse in Venice Beach on Washington Boulevard?

But I want to see the horse, I keep hearing it neigh. I’m sitting on the porch not working so I’m going to literally go look for this horse. I really hope I see a horse today, and I hope I get to pet it. I think that’d be nice. I think this horse will be beautiful and kind. 

I’m literally looking for a horse right now. I’ve walked around the block twice now and I haven’t seen a horse. I hear its neigh again and again and it sounds exactly the same every time. Do you think a horse could neigh exactly the same every time? Let’s walk around the block again to be sure. 

Hmm. The neigh is actually not coming from a horse at all and I have to go back to the porch to try to do work I guess. The neigh is not coming from a horse it’s actually coming from a truck parked in front of my Airbnb. The truck is making the neigh. I think I should have known that there was never a horse. 

WHY IS A TRUCK NEIGHING - a question. 

I think there are a few reasons this white pickup truck in front of my Airbnb could be neighing. I think that this driver has a neigh set as his text tone and that his phone is hooked up to an aux cord and that every time he gets a text a neigh blasts through the car’s speakers very loud because his volume is all the way up. I think he could be getting a lot of texts from his friend who’s having an issue in their relationship and needs advice. Maybe his friend just found out his wife is cheating on him or something. Or maybe the driver’s wife or husband or partner is texting him stuff they need from the grocery store one text at a time. Maybe he’s getting a lot of business inquiries via text message. 

The only other reason this truck would be neighing is maybe the driver likes to listen to a horse’s neigh and finds it soothing. I know I do. 

I wish I had heard a real horse neigh today. :(