October 3, 2022 

Every Trip to the Grocery Store Costs Fifty Dollars

Here are things that I have bought on recent trips to the grocery store and how much everything cost at checkout.

• Tofu, greens, eggplant, a bag of rice, 10 cans of cat food, a bag of flour, bag of 8 impossible burger patties, three liters of seltzer and a bueno candy bar: $50

• Two tomatoes, a broccoli, a pint of fancy vanilla ice cream: $50

• 6 pack of beer, a box of pasta, paper towels, cat litter, toilet paper: $50 

• Just toilet paper: $50 

• 2 cans of black beans, a bag of impossible chicken nuggets, a red pepper, three endives, one radicchio, a can of probiotic soda, and 5 honeycrisp apples: $50

• 6 Honeycrisp apples: $50

• One spinach: $50

• A pea: $50

• Paper bag to put groceries inside of: $50

• A smile from the surly cashier: $50

• A final shred of dignity: $50

• Going home to check your bank account: $50

• Eating little pieces of your hair instead: priceless :)